Download Ebook How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday, by Gerry Spence
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How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday, by Gerry Spence
Download Ebook How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday, by Gerry Spence
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From Publishers Weekly
Lawyer Spence's guide to winning arguments spent 26 weeks on PW's bestseller list. Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Review
“How to Argue and Win Every Time is more than just a book about argument; it's the outline on how to live.†―Larry king“Gerry Spence is one of America's last true originals--a man who thinks as brilliantly as he lives, who writes as compellingly as he talks, and who practices law as faithfully as most people practice religion.†―Dan Rather
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Product details
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; Reprint edition (April 15, 1996)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0312144776
ISBN-13: 978-0312144777
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.8 x 9.1 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
213 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#20,221 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is not about how to set up a winning argument providing the best evidence and the best logical case. It is about getting what you want as you communicate with others. People are emotional beings that focus not just on weighing the presented evidence. People have self interests, they are prejudiced, there are emotions and desires, group associations, and then there’s body language, and to get what you want they have to like you, etc. When you argue a case in court, or at home or at work, or to any group of people, you have to consider all of that.Very briefly; you have to prepare, you have to listen to the other, you have to understand the other, find common ground, and you have to be credible. Therefore you should not avoid emotions and your argument should be personal, and you must always be truthful. Our argument cannot be perceived as a threat or we will never be heard, and assault is not argument. He discusses how to deal with prejudice and hostility and tells us that sometimes losing is winning and sometimes an argument shouldn’t be made at all. He also mentions that telling personal stories is a good way of getting people to see things your way. In addition to advice and guidelines there’s also quite a bit of wisdom and personal opinions, some of which I agree with and some of which I don’t agree with.One thing I object to is that he sometimes overextends his perspective. For example, there are arguments, or communications, which should avoid emotions and for which the people involved and even their perceived credibility should not matter. I am talking about peer review in natural science and mathematical discourse, which I see as the best path towards “truthâ€. In that case only the evidence matter and the data and mathematical derivations speak for itself. However, that is outside of his expertise, like so much else that is outside of his expertise. That’s why I titled my review “A Lawyer’s Perspectiveâ€.That does not mean it is not a good book. The book is filled with useful insights and I learned a lot from the book. One of the things I learned from this book is that if I know a lot about a subject and I am arguing with someone who’s very misinformed but stubborn I must resist the temptation to be patronizing, or to crush them. My goal should be to inform them, not to make them hate me. That was just one of many examples of what I’ve learned reading this book. I highly recommend this book.
Using the paradigms in this book, I have conquered many opponents I was reluctant to deal with before due to (mostly) fear. The author has a non-standard approach to creating argumentative energy seemingly out of nothing. If you have the patience to wade through his tree-hugging stuff you will become empowered just by reading some paragraphs about the human weaknesses. If you don't understand what tree-hugging means, it may also be the key to your inability to win some arguments before and is key to unlocking your potential.Once we understand how to handle our weaknesses and use the power of higher moral ground, truth and integrity we become invincible.Btw, if you simply want to learn about logical fallacies - get a school book. Simply knowing the logical fallacies didn't help him much in the court cases he tried. He is just cynical enough to convey the reality of life but is not fixated on it while providing all the tools to prepare you for the B.S. that gets thrown at you every day.There's another book I know of that uses eastern philosophy and some martial arts techniques in dealing with problems - "Aikido in Everyday Life: Giving in to Get Your Way" by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller. In some ways the books are identical.
I haven't lost an argument in years, my wife says.
Originality at its best, Gerry Spence is a true thinker that has not only thought but lived what he writes about.Full of insights for life, written in a clear, concise and yet aesthetic style. Certainly one of the best books I have ever read, and I do read a lot.If you want to learn, think and feel deeply about new ideas, this book is for you.
Awesome, Heartfelt and wonderfully practical and insightful read. If you want to win at home or in business, keep this book handy and re-read as necessary. Sometimes it is better to think out of the box. Spence wins my interest and heart every time.
Over the years I have actually purchased this book at least 3different times. It is one of the best self help books I haveever read. At first when seeing the title and knowing it waswritten by a lawyer, I thought, wait minute, what would a lawyerknow about self help for just the average person and that it wouldbe written in lawyer=ese. I was amazed at just how much benefitit could be to anyone who needs help now and then standing up forthemselves, etc. It's just a book you will keep coming back to.this time I plan not to lose track of it but if I do, I will justhave to buy a new one. I am a senior citizen (very much so) andI will never tire of re=reading it. Any age will reap a wonderfulbenefit from this book.
Love the concepts in this book and Gerry certainly entertains with his integration of stories from his career. I found the book a little long and dry in some parts. Worth the price though.
This is a great book by a great author and trial lawyer. Some of the poor reviews I've read claiming Gerry doesn't tell you how to argue and win are wet behind the ears. One of the great things any master of negotiation and arguments will tell you is LISTEN to the other side. The poor reviews aren't listening nor do they understand one of the best lawyers in the nation. Gerry does in fact tell you how to argue and win by listening and knowing your opponent. Thanks, Gerry, for such a great read and great career you had.
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